The Legends of Christmas

Frosty – People just don’t get me. I get way too much attention and I don’t want it. Any of it.

Rudolph – Yo man, I know just what you’re saying.

Host – Hello ladies and gentlemen. We’re here at Straight Talk with a roundtable of some of the biggest legends of Christmas. To my right, I have Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Reindeer. On my left, I am joined by the infamous Grinch and George Bailey, and across from me is none other than Mr. Santa Claus himself. I would like to thank you all for coming and joining us tonight.

Grinch – Hmmm.

Santa – It’s our pleasure.

George – Yes, yes. It’s just wonderful to be here.

Host – Thank you. Now, before we got going, Frosty, you were saying that you don’t really feel like you belong here. Could you just back up and explain to our audience what you were telling us before the cameras started rolling?

Frosty – Sure thing. In fact, your introduction inadvertently underlined the very problem I was talking about. You called us legends. It sounds like I’m some sort of superhero. You’ve got Batman and Flash, Wonderwoman and… frosty? Eleven months of the year you’ve got the Justice League, but come December the Christmas League takes over?

Rudolph – Word. Is my superpower supposed to be having a red nose?

Santa – You can fly.

Grinch – Heh. and you’ve got a nasty cold of radioactive proportions.

Host – So Frosty, are you saying you feel like you are getting too much attention?

Frosty – That’s it exactly. I mean, all over the world, when snow begins to fall. As soon as it starts to pile up, kids begin rolling it into balls and making snowmen. Then one day, one of those things come alive and here I am. Did I do anything special? I didn’t will myself into existence and it certainly wasn’t some magic hat.

Host – So how did you come alive?

Frosty – You tell me, sir. How does John’s Christmas story start out? “All things were made by Him and without Him, nothing was made that has been made.”

Host – The “him” being…

Rudolph – Jesus, man. It’s all about Jesus.

Frosty – Exactly. I came into this world when nobody expected it, just like Jesus. My arrival brought joy to everyone in the world I met. That’s Jesus. When the weather turned, I left this earth but not before promising to return. Who does that sound like?

George – Just a minute, just a minute. Now hold on, Mr Frosty. You’re here today and tomorrow and the day after that. But you will be back next year and the following year and every single year to come. But Jesus, He’s coming back one time then he’s shaking the dust off this crummy little world. He’s gonna build new things. He’s building big things. How does that fit into your little analogy there?

Frosty – That’s a good question. It isn’t one I really have an answer for.

Rudolph – Yo check this. It’s all about the faithfulness of God. Just like you show up the first time the snow falls, my nose starts glowing at the same time. God gives us just what we need exactly when we need it. He’s faithful like that.

Host – So you are saying you agree with Frosty?

Rudolph – Sure thing. that cool dude points to some parts of the real Christmas story, and I point to others.

Santa – Ho, ho, ho. You and Frosty think you’ve got it bad? You should try walking in my shoes.

Host – Santa, thank you, but we would like to save your story for last. Rudolph, how so?

Rudolph – It’s like this. I was rejected by others, scorned and despised by them. But then I became the one to point the way for the others. I was a light in the darkness. I understand that the connection doesn’t seem all that hot, but no doubt my whole reason for being is to light the way for others.

George – Service. Your Christmas theme is service.

Host – Could you elaborate on that George?

George – I’d be delighted to. Each one of us highlights one aspect of what Christmas is really all about. Santa here is about the gift. Frosty is joy, and our bright little animal friend here is about service.

Host – And what would your theme be?

George – I’m about memories and regrets. There’s something about the Christmas season that makes people get to thinking. Everyone starts getting together with their family but then some start remembering the ones who won’t be with them this year. And others might have to be away for one reason or another and they begin thinking maybe they won’t really be missed at all. Other people will spend the holiday and the end of the year just thinking over all the mistakes and failures of the past year. Pretty soon they get to thinking that maybe, just maybe the world would be a better place if they weren’t in it. I get that. I was there once. But God sent me an angel named Clarence to help me remind me that each one of us is loved and valuable to him and others as well. It’s no small fact that despite all the joy this season is supposed to bring, Christmas time also sees a large increase in depression and suicide. I am here as a reminder that it doesn’t have to be like that. Each one of our lives touches so many others and if we weren’t around, we would leave an awful hole in the hearts of others, wouldn’t we? But I’m talking too much. Am I talking too much?

Santa – No, no, no.

Rudolph – You’re just spitting truth, bro.

Host – Mr. Grinch, I would love to hear your input on all this. Frosty is joy, Rudolph light or service, Santa gifts, and George memories. What about you? As the villain of this bunch, what do you have to say for yourself?

Grinch – To most people I’m the villain but for some people out there, I’m the hero. Those say they hate Christmas absolutely love me and I’m fine with that.

Host – I’m sorry, I don’t follow.

Grinch – When people say they hate, double hate, and loathe entirely Christmas, it isn’t really Christmas they hate. It is the business and stuff. There are so many parties to attend, presents to buy, cards to write… is Aunt Mildred really even still alive? We’ve been sending her a card every year, but didn’t Cousin George tell us this last Christmas that she passed on a few winters back… some car accident with a reindeer. Anyways, things get so busy and hectic and cluttered with stuff that people just want to cancel everything. It would just be so much nicer to just lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness.

Rudolph – Cheer up dude, it’s Christmas.

Grinch – You’re Rudolph, a freak with a red nose, nobody likes you.

Frosty – Hey there.

Grinch – Sorry, I just slipped into character. What was I saying? Yes. People think that Christmas is all that stuff and business, and trees and decorations and the same ten songs that loop endlessly on every station on the radio and in every store in the world. Is it any wonder that people just want to end it all like George was talking about? Well anyways, one year I decided I had enough. I snuck in there and did my worst to cancel Christmas.

Host – What did you do?

Grinch – The food, the decorations, the tree, the presents… I stole it all. But you know what? It didn’t change a thing. Christmas still came. It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes, or bags! I thought about this and then thought some more. I pondered for three hours till my puzzler was sore. Then I thought of something I hadn’t thought of before! “Maybe Christmas,” I thought, “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more!”

George – By George, you got it! You’re the hero for all those who hate the fact that Christmas has lost its meaning amidst all the business and noise of the season.

Host – And now it is time for us to go to a commercial. Be sure to stay tuned to hear what Santa has to say about all this. Also, don’t forget to tune in next week when we will be discussing the economics of Christmas with Mr Potter and Scrooge McDuck.

 

8 thoughts on “The Legends of Christmas

  1. Spectacular! Pulling out truth from what we’ve made it–well done, my friend. You made me laugh and ponder at the same time. Beautifully written–witty and fun and true. Thanks, BJ.

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