The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)
Relate: Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief. Anselm calls it “Faith seeking understanding.” I know God is good, but I do not know how His goodness will be seen in this situation. I know God is in control, but I cannot see the way through this chaos. I know God is worthy of my praise, but right now I’m a little ticked off at Him. For the father it was, “I know that He can heal my son, I just don’t know if and how it will happen.”
Do you blame him? Since a little boy a demon has been sending him into epileptic seizures that always seem to happen at the worst, most dangerous possible moment. Can you imagine the years of vigilance these parents have lovingly shown to keep their boy alive? Then they hear that there’s a guy who can perform wonders. Jesus isn’t around but that’s OK, his disciples have been healing people too. Except for his son, they couldn’t. I believe… but I don’t. I know that You can. I just don’t know if You will.
React: There’s a call and response I’ve heard for a long time in a lot of places. Someone will say out, “God is good.” Everyone will respond, “All the time.” Then it will be reversed and the speaker will say, “And all the time.” The response… “God is good.” There have been some times when I’m saying it right along with everybody else but inside I’m saying, “Oh really? I don’t see it.” I’ve been places in my life, I’ve been in pits where I don’t see any way out. The truth is, when I’ve been down there, that has exactly been my prayer. “God, I know You are good, but I just don’t see it. Open my eyes.” That’s me praying, “I believe, help my unbelief.”
The thing is, when the dad was in trouble he knew who to go to. He came to Jesus and even though he had to wait, he stayed there until he had his answer. Even when Jesus’ followers let him down, he stayed there until he had his answer. And when Jesus asked that all important question, he didn’t put on a pretty facade. He told it like it is. “My faith is seeking understanding. I believe, help my unbelief.”
Sometimes it is so easy to believe and sometimes… I know You are good. I KNOW IT, but sometimes… it just gets so hard to see it. You love me. You want the best for me far more than I even want it for myself. Sometimes I just don’t know how You are working good through the mess this life sometimes tosses me. In those times, as I seek understanding, help me to never lose faith.