Read: Ezekiel 23:1-49, Hebrews 10:18-39, Psalm 109:1-31, Proverbs 27:13

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God,
you will receive what he has promised.
(Hebrews 10:35-36)

Relate: As I write this, I am monitoring a study hall where four of my students are preparing for a test they have after lunch. They are terrified as only a group of perfectionist Asian 8th grade girls can be. I am listening to them quiz each other on the study guide and I am thinking, “I will be shocked if they don’t all get very close to 100%.” But they are asking me, “What if I get an 81%? Can I still do a retake?” (My policy is that retakes are available for under 80). There is absolutely no need to worry. But still they worry.

How often do I find myself doing the same thing in my personal walk with God? Just like these students, I still need to study. I still need to work and to persevere, but I am constantly wondering, did I work enough? Have I prayed enough? Have I read my Bible enough? Did I say all the right things when witnessing to my neighbor? I know in my head that I have no reason to worry. But sometimes that confidence doesn’t quite make it to my gut. I know the unshakeable character of God. I know that His grace is far more than sufficient for all of my failures. But sometimes in the moment, I don’t know know it. Do you know what I mean? Am I the only one?

React: This is fine. The last thing I need to do… we need to do, is to worry about if we are worrying too much. As we grow in our knowledge of God, our confidence in Him will also grow. But I don’t think on this side of heaven, we will ever eliminate worry. And that, in some ways, is a good thing. Like my students, it will motivate us to study more. It will motivate us to, as Matthew 5 says, “be perfect…” or as 1 Peter 1 says, “Be holy…” That low key worry can help us to “persevere so that we do the will of God.”

The danger is when it stops being a low key worry. When we start to lose focus on the goodness and the greatness of God, the sight of our imperfections and failures can become overwhelming. It is possible that we start to forget God’s grace and think too much of getting our good grades. And then, when that worry overwhelms us, we crash. We panic on our test (of life) and we end up failing. We remember how hard we have worked and see the horrible result we have received, and we think to ourselves, “why bother?” I am convinced that many people who have “deconstructed” their faith fall into this category. They have been taught about how horribly sinful and evil and broken they are, but have not been taught enough about how merciful and gracious our God is. They have not adequately learned the sufficiency of the cross. And so they have no confidence. They no longer feel that their effort is worth it. This is what the author of Hebrews is warning about. This is a danger we all might face if our confidence is in ourselves instead of in Christ.

Respond: 

Dear God,
Let my confidence be always only in You. You alone sustain me. You alone died for me. You alone are the way I can make it through the vicissitudes of life, the truth that shines beyond the reach of the darkness of my doubts, and the life that sustains me when I feel like I am dying inside. Thank You for giving me the motivation and the desire to persevere in this race that I am running. Forgive me for those times that my focus on that race has caused me to take my eyes off the end line. There is a rich reward promised to me. help me to continue to persevere until the glorious day that it finally, ultimately arrives.
Amen