By: Lia

Read: Leviticus 6:1-7:27, Mark 3:7-30, Psalm 37:1-11, Proverbs 10:3-4

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.
(Psalm 37:4)

Relate: One of the hardest things about being a Filipino-German third culture kid (TCK) explaining how I lived in China and the Philippines at the same time. My parents met and were wedded in Hong Kong. Both of my older brothers went to schools in China, while I was raised in the Philippines by my grandma and aunts, attending a Filipino school. Unbeknownst to me, my parents’ relationship was already on the rocks. Around first grade, my parents divorced. My brother entered third grade in the Philippines, and by then, my family had decided to permanently settle in the country. My father continued to work in Germany and visited us thrice in the span of seven years. 

I had never truly lived with either of my parents, as my mother—who I had a strained relationship with—passed away when I was eleven. The only time I remember my father being present for my birthday was when I barely even had memory; I was two years old. 

In addition to the challenges of being a TCK, I was also grappling with the pain of a fractured family—myself included. I constantly yearn for a bond with a parent, but interactions with my father did not go beyond email exchanges every so often. 

Until 2024, we started to talk on the phone and our formal emails gradually became casual text messages. In December 2024, my father called me in the middle of my recording an oral assignment saying that he was going to visit me for my eighteenth birthday in February. I felt an insurmountable amount of joy and instantly broke into tears. This month, I was able to enjoy dinner with my father and other dear people in my life!

React: It was in my heart for years to be able to see my father again, and it was not an easy road. I often felt resentment towards him for visiting my brother in the States and not making any time to visit me. There were times that it felt like only I was putting in the effort to develop a father-daughter connection, but I knew that holding onto that bitterness did no good, and the best that I could do was just to cry out to God and surrender. 

Part of surrendering to the Lord is gratitude. Before, I thought that surrendering only sounded like, “God, I surrender to you this desire that I hold onto so tightly. I surrender to you my future plans.” But surrendering also means delighting in the Lord, by praising and thanking Him. I started to thank God whenever I received a message or call from my father, thank Him that he is still healthy, thank Him that he appreciated the photos I sent in my update, and it would go beyond that; I would thank Him that there is breath in my lungs every morning, that there is sunshine, cool rain, beautiful purple flowers by the sidewalk, warm breakfast, smiles on peoples’ faces… The more I delight in the Lord, the more my heart begins to align with His. The more I share His heart, the more my desires honor His will.

Respond:

Heavenly Father,
Thank You for Your faithfulness when we experience failure on earth. Thank You for modeling to us what tender love, sweet grace, and gentle understanding are like. Thank You for placing desires in our hearts and answering them according to Your perfect will. We pray for a heart that will continuously desire to delight in You, in surrendering, praise, and thanksgiving.
Amen.