Mixed Marriages

mixed marriages tra

Do not let your daughters and sons marry their sons and daughters, for they will lead your children away from me to worship other gods. Then the anger of the Lord will burn against you, and he will quickly destroy you. This is what you must do. You must break down their pagan altars and shatter their sacred pillars. Cut down their Asherah poles and burn their idols. For you are a holy people, who belong to the Lord your God. Of all the people on earth, the Lord your God has chosen you to be his own special treasure. (Deuteronomy 7:3-6)

Read: Deuteronomy 7:1-8:20, Luke 7:36-8:3, Psalm 69:1-18, Proverbs 12:1

Relate: I am completely and totally against mixed marriages. There is no doubt in my mind. There is no hesitation. Mixed marriages are wrong. They are evil. If some of you are offended by that… too bad. If some of you are about to unfollow me… feel free. There are certain things I would love to dialogue about. There are some things that are wide open for discussion and I am willing, even hoping to find a great argument that would help me change my mind. This is not one of those issues. It is set in stone. Mixed marriages are not of God. They are sin.

Do I have your attention yet? Now let me back up and share a couple things about myself. First of all, I grew up in a racially mixed home. I have two younger sisters and three younger brothers who are African-American. Living in New York that wasn’t much of a big deal for most but there were some. Even worse, the eyes that bugged out when our family headed south would very quickly make my blood boil. I will occasionally be in a conversation with someone where there ignorant racism sneaks out and I just shut down inside. I might not always say something about it, but let me say now that I am done. We can be acquaintances and I will still try to be nice to you but let me just say, we aren’t friends. Not a chance.

I haven’t dated much. I am pretty sure that I will be single for my entire life and I am fine with that, but not adamant about it. If God brings someone my way, great. If He does, I can pretty much guarantee she will not be white. I am simply not attracted to white girls. Over the past fifteen years the few people I have dated or been attracted to have been Philippina, or hispanic, or Egyptian, or Eritrean, or Moroccan… and that’s it.

React: What God was talking about in Deuteronomy has absolutely nothing to do with race. Don’t believe me? Look at Jesus’ lineage. Four women are mentioned. Tamar was probably Canaanite. Bathsheba was a widow whose first husband was a Hittite. Rahab was an expat who came back home only after her husband and boys died, and Ruth was a Moabite. Two possibly three of those four were not Hebrew. All of them have a multicultural background. All of them are in Jesus’ bloodline. What God was talking about was not about race. It was about spiritual purity.

If you are a Christian and you are dating or considering marrying someone who is not, stop. God makes it very clear what the marriage is about in His very next statement. Break down the altars, shatter their standing stones, cut down the Asherah poles, and burn the idols. There is no room for compromise on the issue of holiness. Godliness and evil cannot cohabitate. If you as a Christian are becoming emotionally intimate with an atheist, Buddhist, Muslim, Mormon, or anything else that does not make Jesus and His death and resurrection the central point of their life, stop. Get out. Run away. Mixed marriages are not of God.


Dear God,
I am sorry for the ways I have married You to the things of the world in my thoughts and time and words and life. I am sorry for the ways I have allowed the unholy idols within my culture to invade my thoughts and habits. Help me to be holy. Help me to be separate and pure. Help me to love everybody without any regard for creed or color but help me to hate and avoid sin in every of its insidious ways. Help me to be able to identify those things in my culture, either raised or adopted, that are not of You. I am Your child and Yours alone. Help me to keep that bloodline pure.


37 thoughts on “Mixed Marriages

  1. Beautiful Piece ….I’m in a mixed marriage (i hate the tag) of 5 years. I think there are many conclusions we have drawn that have nothing to do with the will of God. And there are times when these conclusions separate the church and make it hard for some awesome Christian couples to find a church home. Write On!

  2. Hi. I understand your feelings. I am unable to understand how one could not believe and follow God or accept Jesus died for their sins. I am not sure why you threw the Mormon religion in there though. They fully believe in Jesus’ death and resurrection? Unfortunately organized religion tends to blind people and who they are following. Likely not on purpose to often they become about following “man” and their ideals instead of building a relationship with God to find answers. Just my opinion but I always appreciate what I read from you and I appreciate what you share.

    • This is exactly why I have a problem with “religion ” there are so many that it clouds what a true believer really means. The Bible clearly states there is only one God, any others should be destroyed. Religion simply clouds, or as you said, blinds us from seeking the truth, the whole truth, of God’s word.

    • I have discoursed with many Mormon people and although they believe that Jesus did suffer and die on the cross, it is not absolutely central to their religion. Don’t get me wrong, it is a very important part of it, but it is just as important for Mormons to also earn their way into Heaven by doing good works and being a good person. I point-blank asked a Mormon person once if Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross was not enough to get them to Heaven and he said, “no.” Therefore, the author mentioned this religion.

    • With the Mormons it is a matter of orthopraxy, not orthodoxy. So they believe that Jesus died and rose. Great. Even the demons believe that. I said those who do not make the death and resurrection of Christ the central point of their life. Without it we are nothing. Added to it there can be nothing. Mormons believe in the event, but it is not the sufficient cause for their salvation and the immense weight of the event is watered down because they do not recognize Jesus as God.

        • Religion is the caring for widows and orphans in their distress and the attempt to live a godly life. I am all for organizing with like minded individuals around either of these tasks.

        • Agree. Churches do a lot of great things for people. I wouldn’t use them to determine what to believe though. Or any people for that matter. Churches and organized religion are great things if you have a strong enough relationship with God to see when people take advantage and manipulate you inside that church. People suck unfortunately and they are in every group. I don’t think people are wrong to belong to a church or religion. They are wrong when the follow the words of man instead of seeking answers from God. I am so blessed to have seen what I have, and had the presence of mind to notice things, which has allowed me to block out people when it comes to power and beliefs. There is strength in numbers – and like everything in this life – there is good and bad to that.

  3. I totally agree. I too must ask for God’s forgiveness for I dated and married outside my faith and there were dire consequences. Some of which I’m still dealing with. Needless to say, I am seeking God’s word again, and trying in earnest to live by His teachings.

    Have a blessed day

    • I used the term “faith” above when I actually prefer to use the terms “believer” and “non-believer”. Though I grew up going to church I developed a certain amount of resentment for the whole process. For me, Religion was a tool used by my parents to control me. Hence my rebellion and later staying away from church completely and then dating and later marrying a nonbeliever. Back then, even if I knew of, and believed in God, I did not have a relationship with Him, and essentially I too could have been loosely classified as a “nonbeliever” .

      Though my stance on religion hasn’t changed (See my reasons in my last 2 posts), I now, through study of the Bible (from the beginning) have come to know God for myself. I see firsthand His workings in my life and I am determined to live a better life that is pleasing to Him. I have seen His words and will try my best to live by His teachings.

      I now understand the importance of dating or marrying a “believer” for those are God’s instructions.

  4. Thank you for that, that was awesome. My spouse and I married, we were both non believers, I got saved 7 years before he did and it was quite a struggle., no reason to make marriage any harder than it is … that is the only stipulation I have given our children about a future possible mate. 👍👌✌👏

  5. I sense a lot of anger in this piece–almost as if something had you really heated and you needed to vent it out through here. I may be wrong, though. About Rahab, you said she was an expat who only came home when her boys died…did you mean to say that was Naomi? Rahab was the harlot in Jericho who let the Israelite spies down the wall and then later ended up marrying one of them. And yes, she made it into Jesus’ lineage.

    • You are write about Naomi. That is what I get for just writing off the top of my head instead of fact checking as I go. A bit embarrassed I made such a mistake but it just drives my point home deeper. Naomi would have been the only one in the lineup who was definitely Jewish. Rahab most certainly was not.

        • It is OK. I have noticed that more often than not, I tend to read things in a harsher manner than the author intended to write it. I try to keep this in mind when writing and be more specific in my wording when dealing with potentially volatile topics. When writing this post I was a bit under the clock and rushed. I didn’t even get the graphic up until today.

  6. 1My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. 2He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. 3We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands. 4Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. 5But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: 6Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.
    7Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have heard. 8Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and in you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining.
    9Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. 10Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. 11But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them. 1 John 1:1-11

    34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

  7. The part that bothers me here is you saying to “get out” of a relationship that is mixed. Not all “mixed” marriages started out “mixed”. God actually tells the believer to stay in the marriage once married. Though I agree that until the point of marriage, the unevenly yoked relationship is against God, once you have made the vow before God to become one with this person it is a lifelong commitment that honors God… UNLESS the unbeliever walks out. (1 Corinthians 7:10-16)
    So then, for you to say that you absolutely HATE mixed marriages… how very discouraging to those who are trying to honor God & stay in a mixed marriage. It is very hard, you wouldn’t understand. This post doesn’t sound like righteous anger; & it certainly was not written with the Love from God 😦 Maybe if there was far less hatred dripping from the words. But you made it clear that it doesn’t matter to you if you offended anyone with this, so I probably just wasted my time responding. I don’t believe in softening the word of God, but read what you wrote. Does this sound God-breathed to you?

    • I am sorry if I was not more clear with that. My saying to get out was specifically to those in a dating, not married, relationship. The first sentence in that paragraph was: “If you are a Christian and you are dating or considering marrying someone who is not, stop.”

  8. We don´t need to define the limits of who is of our race, religion or color. There can be people even in our own denomination who do not make the Lord their highest priority. What we should look for is a partner who enhances our faith instead of place it in danger of decay.

    I pray we all find someone who will share our hope in God. Whether we marry or not it is a great relief to have someone to pray with, study the scriptures and glorify our Saviour with. May we all find someone special like that.

    Should we also remember that we are the bride of Christ?

  9. Reblogged this on ChristianBlessings and commented:
    Are we choosing compromise rather than holiness, separation unto God? The pressure and force of the world cannot be resisted without sacrifice and loving God with all our being. He gave Himself To us , will we do likewise to Him?

  10. Pingback: Mixed Marriages — THE RIVER WALK – THE PLACE OF THE MOST HIGH

  11. I practice relationship not religion. I have a personal relationship with the Lord that fulfills me. Religion is the rules man imposes on man so they can go the way he directs them. We are the church, body of Christ, bride of Christ. If we would study the Word we would all know what Jesus would do. You can’t just believe part of what Jesus did. God had a complete plan to save us from being eternally lost and Jesus fulfilled the whole plan. If he hadn’t we all would be lost to this day. Great article and comments. Don’t beat yourself up about a name. Everyone who knows the Bible knows who you meant. Thanks for visiting my blog. Blessings.

  12. Hi,
    My parents had a mixed marriage and I’m fruit of that. I don’t personally think that it is bad. My Father converted to Christianity after they got married. Not once did I feel that there was something wrong or like I was a child of sinners. My father I believe is more Christian than most of the people I have seen, the ones who have been bought up in the Christian Faith. Apart from everything else, the Bible and Jesus asks us to love our neighbor as we would love our-self, so if we see our-self without any fault and as only mere human, why judge another one based on his/her religion? And about being evil, if you have only love in your heart, how will you know what evil is? I never like speaking on the topic of religion because I feel its a very personal subject, but you’re article caught my attention.

  13. Because, at the beginning you mentioned it was evil. Eventually, there was a conversion, but not before. So I wanted to understand, where did the evil come from. That’s why. And again, how come you will speak for me saying my viewpoint is not Christian? By what you judge? Anyway, its nice to see you advocate Christianity, but it’ll be nicer if you advocated it without putting another man down, because, if I am correct, Jesus never put another man down to make himself higher, he just did his work silently by himself.

    • Actually, it is not Beejai who is calling it evil but rather scripture. The post is just an explanation of why.
      The reason I wanted to clarify about your dad was because if both parents went into the marriage as non Christians and then one converts making it a mixed marriages, that is a completely different story.
      I said your viewpoint is not Christian because it isn’t, at least the questions and statements I read do not sound like those coming from a Christian. You ask “why judge another one based on his/her religion?” If you were saying we should not be judgmental then I would completely agree, but Christ and the epistles call for us to make judgments and use discernment all the time. You said, “if you have only love in your heart, how will you know what evil is” but one of the foundation stones of love is that it does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Love recognizes evil and both avoids it and seeks to turn others from it. You also said, “I never like speaking on the topic of religion because I feel its a very personal subject.” Anyone who is a follower of Jesus, a Christian, could not keep from talking about Him every chance they get. Their love for Him and for others would force it to come flowing into conversations all the time. A Christian saying they don’t like talking about Jesus is like a married person saying they don’t talk about their spouse. If I were to hear that my first thought, yes judgment, would be that this marriage is doomed. Either it will fail or it must change.
      Finally, you say, “if I am correct, Jesus never put another man down to make himself higher, he just did his work silently by himself.” Jesus called Peter Satan. Matthew has an entire of “woes” he levels against the Pharisees including calling them graves looking pretty but full of death. Simon invites him over for dinner and one of the first things Jesus does is call Simon a fool. You are right in saying that He never puts others down to make Himself higher, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t “put anyone down”. He did, frequently, so that when they got up they could start walking in the right direction. I am sorry if you feel “put down”, but I am not sorry for speaking truth. The love I have for God and for you compels me to do it.

      • Hmmm. Since you have not been bought up in a “mixed marriage” environment, you will not know many things about mixed marriages and how a couple stands together despite a lot of trials and tribulations. It is beautiful to see love conquer beyond boundaries, you may never understand. And anyway, such petty things don’t make me feel “put down” I have my faith and I don’t think I came here to discuss that. About the truth, I know the truth, this post was deleted and put back up with this reply. That said a lot too. Religion yes, is a very personal subject – I will always stand by that. God bless you too.. 🙂

  14. Thank you for your post and letting your feeling out so that we may all read. Let me say I am a Christian, not in word only but the real thing. That means that God reached down and saved me, I did not save myself as a result of a good choice that I made. God is sovereign. We are told in John 1:12 that as many as received Him He gave the designated authority to be the sons of God. Then He goes on to say, ” who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” Why do I say this, because religion can be very evil, Jesus spoke about false prophets, and it sounds like some of your readers don’t know the difference between the real thing and false religions, of which the world is full.

    What does all this have to do with racism and keeping the body pure? There is no keeping the church pure if you don’t even know what the church is. Secondly, if a person has been saved then they know they are forgiven and therefore they can forgive. If the Christian is not forgiving then he should question whether or not he is a Christian at all. Many of my closest friends are African American and I am white. After reading your blog I went to speak to my wife and a friend who use to live with us for 3 years, she is African American. I shared some of your blog and they both said the same thing, prejudice goes both ways and is shared by many. But here is the main point, the Christian is not to live by the fear of man but the fear of God. That means that we are not to be controlled by the prejudice and hate of the world, particularly because we are sent to the world to preach the Gospel. We cannot preach the Gospel to the lost if we don’t even want to talk to them. God will bring judgment on the world soon enough, that is not my job. I know that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), it is not my job to judge anyone but to give them hope through the truth about the forgiveness offered in Christ. I will pray for you because I can feel your hurts and angers and I do pray that you will be released from them. Lord bless!

  15. That was sharp and it needs a lot of courage to write those words. Unfollow me but I will write the truth….superb.
    When it comes to word of God, taking a stand is important.many people try to be diplomatic and end up doing nothing. I wish and pray many will change like you.

  16. But one of my botheration is that getting out of married relationship is not wise. But staying there and praying and bringing him or her to salvation is the point. Divorce is not a good word. It makes things more horrible.
    Do not marry an unbeliever but if you have married then stay and get back the other person in track of God.

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