Read: Genesis 23:1-24:51, Matthew 8:1-17, Psalm 9:13-20, Proverbs 3:1-6
This is my request. I will ask one of them, ‘Please give me a drink from your jug.’ If she says, ‘Yes, have a drink, and I will water your camels, too!’—let her be the one you have selected as Isaac’s wife. This is how I will know that you have shown unfailing love to my master.”
Genesis 24:14
Relate: I remember teaching a Children’s Church lesson about worship. Technically my church now calls it River Kids, but back in the days before everything had to have its own “branding”, everyone called it Children’s Church. Anyways, in this lesson, we chose one or two words for each letter in the word “worship” to help explain this spiritual discipline a little bit better. We used: Whole heart, Obey & serve, Respect (or reverence), Sing, Honor, Instruments, and Praise. I asked the students what the difference between obey and serve was. The first girl to raise her hand answered, “Obey is to do what you are told. Serve is to do it even before you are told.” I have to admit, her answer was better than the one I prepared. Kids are like that. Another girl also one-upped my prepared answer for praise when she said it was, “When you throw a party for God.” Classic.
Back to today’s Bible reading, Abraham didn’t give all that much instruction to his servant. He simply told him, “I don’t want one of these local women. Go back to my relatives’ hometown and find a wife for my son there.” That was instruction enough. His servant knew Abraham. He knew Isaac. Most importantly, his servant knew the God that Abraham served. So when he arrived at his destination, he didn’t ask God to find someone who was rich, young, or beautiful. He didn’t ask for someone who had all the right connections or whose dowry was set just so. He didn’t even ask for someone who was brilliant, or funny, or who had a great personality. He asked for a servant. Abraham’s servant asked for someone who would “do it even before they are told.”
React: Singles, what do you look for in a potential spouse? Married friends, what was the one thing that convinced you that your spouse was “the one?” Was it her beauty? Was it his job? Was it how he treated and respected his mom? I’m single and I fully expect to remain that way right up until the marriage supper of the Lamb. For me that’s OK, but I understand most people aren’t wired the same. As Paul said, “It’s better to marry than to burn.” He who finds a good spouse finds a good thing. (Proverbs 18:22)
Because I’m single, I find over and over again, that older and wiser men who have been married keep giving the same piece of advice. When they first stepped into marriage, they did so with the expectation of what their spouse would do for them. It wasn’t until their mindset changed to what they could do for their spouse that things really, truly started working well. That is a servant mentality. Each spouse is looking first to the interests of the other. That is the mentality that Abraham’s servant was looking for in Isaac’s future wife. He knew that more than riches, beauty, connections, or even a “great personality,” having a servant’s heart was essential for a long and happy marriage. Do we have that heart?
Respond:
Dear God,
For all the times I have put myself first, please forgive me. God, please give me a servant’s heart. I know that having one will make me a better friend and a better spouse, but that is not the greatest reason why. You were a servant and I want to be more like You. You looked to our interests and needs, to my interests and needs, before Your own. So help me to do the same for those around me that You love. Make me a servant.
Amen
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THE RIVER WALK 
I’ve been chewing over the idea of God as servant. it’s something very strange to me probably because I’m too proud and need to cultivate true humility. The idea of service sounds good but I’ve found it is maybe the hardest thing to develop and put into practice. Thanks for this.
Well-explained!! 👏 The ‘servant mentality’ is so essential, more so in a marriage relationship! Once that is discovered, life is bliss for both spouses.
Several thoughts – 1) I realized the man I rejected, that said he wanted me, would always love me. 2) That Proverbs passage, says wife not spouse, look it up in the Strong’s, it makes a difference, imo 3) Rick Warren quote – “You may have gotten married for selfish reasons, but staying married takes unselfish reasons 4) Prior to marriage and before I even knew that my friend (future husband) would be living in the city we live in now; on my way to moving to another state; riding a greyhound bus; chasing another man; I was told as the bus pulled into this city I live in now, to make a scheduled stop on the way to some place else, “You and your family will live here.” Three years later….and I have been here 28 years. And Rick’s statement has helped keep me in this marriage along with our Savior’s info that day on that bus.
Though I don’t consider my husband “The One”, our marriage was planned and sanctioned by Yahweh. And I see that, so I stick it out. Yahweh also told me that Brian (my husband) had looked at me and had said, “I want that.” And He said, “OK.” And He made sure he got it. Bit off more than he could chew – lol. I believe I am thee only one on the planet that can half way tolerate living with this man Brian in this type of relationship. He’s a good father. I can be a better wife. Pray for me as I endeavor to be one.
Actually, the word used in Proverbs is Isha (אִשָּׁה) and can mean “wife” or “woman” (Genesis 2:22, 3:1, 3:16, etc) or even a gender neutral “one” (Exodus 26:5, 26:17, etc). I used spouse because both Paul and Solomon are making statements that are just as true man to woman as they are woman to man. But you are right in that in the modern western context I should be more clear that it would only be the case when referring to someone of the opposite sex.
Amen, this message preached to my heart, thank you 🙏