Read: 2 Samuel 19:11-20:13, John 21:1-25, Psalm 120:1-7, Proverbs 16:16-17

A third time he asked him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep.
John 21:17

Relate: Ngākuku’s newfound faith was about to be put to the test. You see, Ngākuku was the rangatira, the chief, of the Ngāti Hauā. They were a tribal group of Maori living in New Zealand in the mid nineteenth century. Missionaries had come and Ngākuku led his tribe in embracing Christ three years previous. But now the Ngāti Hauā had been raided by a neighboring iwi (tribe) called the Ngāti Maniapoto. In that raid, Ngākuku’s twelve year old daughter Tarore had been killed. Now, he had to lead the funeral and everyone was expecting that he demand utu, the blood revenge, that would traditionally be called for.

In leading that funeral, Ngākuku openly acknowledged that an evil act of injustice had been done. He did not downplay the seriousness of the surprise attack or its deadly and personally tragic consequences. But then he declared that as a follower of Jesus, he could only act in the way Jesus acted when injustice was directed at Him. Ngākuku would not demand utu but extended an offer of forgiveness to the Ngāti Maniapoto and their rangatira named Paora Te Uita

Incidentally, Paora was the one who had actually murdered his daughter. In doing so he had stolen a copy of the gospel of Luke the girl had been given by a missionary teacher named Charlotte Brown. When he heard that there would be no revenge attack, Paora grew curious and began reading the gospel for himself. God’s Word does not return void and after a short time, the conviction of the Holy Spirit on his life caused him to seek out Ngākuku. A return of this precious gospel was the only gift he could give in amends. On meeting and speaking with Ngākuku, he too became a Christian and the two men together brought peace to their tribes.

React: When faced with an apology, my knee jerk response is to simply say, “It’s no big deal.” Many times, it really is no big deal. I was not offended or hurt and my respect and love for the person apologizing only grows. But sometimes that statement is a lie. It was a big deal. I was hurt. Trust was broken. In those times, taking a page from Jesus’ playbook is necessary.

Jesus knew that Peter was going to deny him. Very likely, he even heard at least one of those denials because he turned and looked at Peter right after the rooster crowed. He also certainly knew the anguish and torment in Peter’s heart in knowing how poorly he had messed up. The last thing Peter needed was to hear, “It’s no big deal.” Jesus needed to confront the truth of Peter’s denial while also extending grace and reconciliation. In a typical Middle Eastern way of addressing the issue without actually addressing the issue, Jesus gives Peter the opportunity to three times confirm his love. Peter knew exactly what was going on, and it hurt. Good. It needed to hurt. But Peter also needed to know he had not been disqualified. Jesus was extending grace and reconciliation to Peter without letting go of the truth of what had been done.

Respond:

Dear God,
Help me to balance the integrity of holding up Your high standard of truth and righteousness while also recognizing that mercy triumphs over judgment. Help me to give to those who have offended the kindness that does not overlook the wrong but that does lead to repentance. Help me to extend grace while holding tightly to truth.
Amen